and I thought I would share my reply to her in email. Most of you know my Bat Mitzvah is happening in 3 days. Maybe my thoughts will give you an insight why I am going through this right now in my life.
Why? because it is part of my journey that *I* need to take. I converted to Judaism 4 years ago after a long path searching for a spiritual life that fit my soul. I studying many different spiritual paths and when I found Judaism it was like a perfect fit. After my trip to the Mikvah, when I was sharing my experience, Rabbi said I was born with a jewish soul, it just took the rest of me a bit of time to catch up. So of course, being a JBC, I didn’t have the chance for a Bat Mitzvah at age 13.
Why now? Because it is the right time. I am not sure I can really explain why it is the rightht time, or how I knew, but the class, the timing, and the days all seemed to fall in place for me to be in this last adult B’nai Mitzvah. I truly believe G_d had this time line all set for me. And who am I to argue with that? It is also part of my growth. I was nominated to take part in a leadership class for our Temple, which I completed last year. One way to lead is by example. How could I honestly speak of personal growth in my Jewish life without the step of a Bat Mitzvah? I also think it sets a good example for the kids in their own study towards their B’nai Mitzvah. Another reason….study. What a wonderful way to do an in depth study of parts of the Torah, then preparing a drash on ones Torah portion. It is amazing the things I learned and read on the internet when researching it. I am a perpetual student, I love learning so this is another opportunity for me to grow in my mind.
How does your art express your Connection to Judaism? Hmmmm, most of my art lately has been making canes so I have something to reduce when I get frustrated that my brain will not hang on to a simple Hebrew word like v’nay. While I am practicing my Torah portion my mind pops up with designs for things for the Judaica shop at Temple. I now have a list of things to create after the 19th. As for the other part of my art…the caning lets my mind think about the next few days to come, my art has grown in style and perception and design since I started this journey. I have learned on this journey that just to create something beautiful is good. I don’t have to sell it, I can give it and get just as much reward.
Advice for other adults? start learning/practicing your Hebrew on a daily basis. If you are feeling overwhelmed with it then try what works for me. I let my mind go in caning for an hour at a time and then take a 10 minute break and go over a couple words, a line, or a verse from my Torah portion. Once I started doing that I found it was so much easier then sitting for an hour trying to stuff it in my head without feeling frustrated. Another little tidbit….enjoy the learning, enjoy the time with your Rabbi (or whoever is teaching the class), enjoy the time with your classmates. This is a special time in one’s life be they almost 13 or 50 plus. And be positive about it. Rabbi told me that any derivative of can’t was not allowed in my vocabulary. period. It is a joyous journey, a hard one, one in which they will learn more then they thought they would and in the long one, something they can take pride in completing.
Thank you so much for your thoughts. And, for the questions. They made me think, and after writing my answers down, clarified it even more for me *WHY* I am doing this. They also calmed the butterflies that have started in my gut.
A further note: today I had a private Torah reading session with Rabbi and if we could of, I think both of us would of done the happy happy dance on the Bima. Rabbi was impressed with my speed, my comprehension, and all that jazz. And having Rabbi happy and proud of the work I have done, well it pushes the ole perfection streak to the back and I am confidant with my ability to read my Torah portion.
Again, thank you Toby, for making me think, for making me put to words what have been bubbling in my head and heart. Thank you for being you.
